the relationship cure

The Relationship Cure

Quick Overview

A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships

* Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”
* Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection
* Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids

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Health Professional Review

Health Professional Reviewer: Sue Wilson, Clinical Specialist Mental Health Brief Intervention Service. Reviewed October 2013.

Book Title: The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships.

Author(s): John M Gottman, and Joan DeClaire. John is a world-renowned researcher and relationship expert. John Gottman set up the “Love Lab” and spent over 40 years studying marital and intimate relationships. He is a successful publisher and speaker.

Date published: 2001

Suitable for: People who want to improve relationships in their life and communicate in a more effective way. Intermediate reading level.

Problems addressed: Relationship communication.

Book Summary: The book consists of a 5 step practical guide to help understand and strengthen relationships. It uses a series of questionnaires, real life examples and exercises to increase understanding of ourselves and others. How people pay attention to each other and simple actions can either enhance or damage relationships.

Central to healthy relationships is a ‘turning towards’ requests for emotional connections that Gottman calls ‘bids’ and is key to a successful relationship.

Strengths and Weaknesses:

  • It is a highly recommended self-help book full of practical advice and information which can apply to any relationship.
  • This is not a quick read and requires motivation and focus to absorb content and complete exercises to develop skills.
  • Although it’s not going to solve all problems and conflicts it will help build better emotional connections and help us get along better.


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